I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize