discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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