Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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