It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
