I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
