STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I think I am morally bankrupt
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
