Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
