Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
