I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
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