butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
