I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
