You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
