where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
