do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
