but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
