i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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