Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
