i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
