Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize