Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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