Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
