I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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