I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
