I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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