He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
