ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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