The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
