Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
