come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
