He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
