Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You need a sexual gate keeper
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize
