1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
