everyone is single if you try hard enough
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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