i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
