OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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