i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
