My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
