help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
