I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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