tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
