The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize