And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
My balls are so social today.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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