how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
