who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize