I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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