so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
