he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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