I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize