I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
