i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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