I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
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