wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I understand Curling. That high.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
