I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize