I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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