when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
