Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
