All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
