I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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