are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
