I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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