well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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